just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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