Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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