Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just had sex on a roof
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
