Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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