My first STD was from a foam party
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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