Swine flu. Run for my life!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
