I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
