he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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