Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
