Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
