no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize