I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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