dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
