ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
