Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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