did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
