i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
