every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
