after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize