Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
