question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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