Joe is yelling at the trees again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
