I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
