He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she peed on how many people?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
