Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just high enough for therapy.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
