i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize