playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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