i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize