and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
