whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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