so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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