Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
