she was so not down for the gang bang
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
