No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
