yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
