i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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