So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
