yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
