therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
