Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
