The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize