He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
