I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
