I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
