there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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