So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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