I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You work out of a Hotel?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
