btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
