I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Two words: blizzard sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
