these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
