why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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