her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
