Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize