worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
