Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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