I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
