On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
