Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
