Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
