my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
