I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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