he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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