love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
