I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
only you would photoshop your dick
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
