i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
