This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
